Dear Universe

AreYouThereGod may be found at the following website: http://www.eatthebooks.com

AreYouThereGod may be found at the following website: http://www.eatthebooks.com

OK, so I almost wanted to call this post Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret. Anyone else remember this young girls’ coming-of-age book? And to think when I read it back in the day, I was only terrified of getting my period for the first time, growing boobs, and wearing a bra. If only life were this simple.

Turns out that life is much more than that.

I do have one piece of good news to report. I had my second clean chiropractic scan tonight. It had been a long 10 days since I was miraculously clear after the box purge. Because I was so clear, I received a minimal adjustment. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Let’s see if I can stay clear for the next 14 days, as my next visit isn’t until August 13.

Now to the not-so-good news. For this, I have written a letter to the Universe.

Dear Universe,

So yeah, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. At least according to Kelly Clarkson. But this song is so 2011-2012. It’s 2014. Cut me a freaking break already. 

Don’t you think I have had enough life’s strength training? I promise to utilize what I have learned and keep working out on my own if you could please just let up on me a teeny tiny bit. I have a fitbit, you know. You can track my ass.

Is it because you are still testing me? Trust me, I could bench press a Hummer right now. What have I done to deserve this?

Maybe you think I’m a cool, single crazy cat lady. Of course this is true, but seriously. Where are humans when you need them? Where is the love?

Or is it because you are trying to save me? Could it be that I need to trust you, trust life? It’s just so damned hard to do it all alone.

Please bring back the simple life, like periods, boobs, and bras, K? I’d be good with an old-fashioned game of Spin The Bottle, too.

Holding out for a hero,
Beth

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2 thoughts on “Dear Universe

  1. I have a dear friend who is single and always calls me saying, ” I know it’s all rainbows and shit in your world.” Give me a break I am still asking the same questions. To use your words, “I could bench a hummer right now”, myself! I’ve been on both sides. Trust me, I feel I’m in strength training every day. And I am one strong cookie. Guess we can never be too strong, ey?

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